This day couldn’t get any worse. Its not like things have been bad since morning till now but there were a lot of unprecedented events that happened that even I can’t explain. I felt like the cosmos have connived with each other to go against us on this very day. It felt like all the decisions that I made this day were all set-up with I don’t know who. Right now, I feel like this day was meant to happen. Its like all those years avoiding for this thing to happen has come to pass and fate just somehow had enough of it and finally place things together to take what it originally had to take. And there I was shouting at myself, frozen, wanting to do something but I seem can’t do anything at all. All those nights thinking of how to fix everything, but it turned out I fell prey to fate, who turned out to be just lurking behind the shadows… waiting
And somehow,
Though I was the one suggesting and looking for answers,
Fate answered me horribly,
If I am right to interpret what tonight’s effect on my life would be, then I can’t blame anyone else but me.
Shouldn’t have confronted, shouldn’t have asked, should have stayed stronger. I wonder if I was just a bit stronger to endure more of the pain would it have somehow made things different? Would the events that took place tonight be prevented from happening if I was just stronger? Then again on the other hand, the me inside can’t hold it any more. Its not that I don’t want to but it wanted serenity and peace and somehow…
I chose to follow it…
In the end, you be the judge.
Should I had forced myself to become stronger and just endure the pain just to make things stay the same?
Or was it right for me to follow the me inside wanting things to be better but of which turned out to be a trap to fate’s hidden agenda?
Was I too weak that I was unable to protect it? Or am I already to fragile and unable to gather such strength to try and keep things together?
